In the past two and a half weeks, 13 people have asked me what I want to do with my life?
I usually wouldn't have counted but the question has come up so often now that I can tell from signs that this question is coming.
Honestly I have no idea. People get a label put round there neck when you choose your Job Profession. Its part of how you describe yourself to others and how others describe you.
I was thinking seriously about being a youth leader last year but now I screw my nose up. part is because I have been so disheartened by others response to me in that role that I now dont think Im cut out for it nor want to do it. (dont get me wrong, Taking part in the youth work at GBC has been one of the biggest blessings of my life) The other is because I love all people in my church. I love the adults and the children and the elderly. By becoming a youth worker/pastor that defines me to a specific group. (they are a flipping awesome group at that) but is that the only people I want to stand beside.
The next is a missionary. Something I have been thinking more and more apon recently since Uganda. This at the minute is my most probable option after uni. but is that what my career is going to be on the long term. What about the personal side of it? the leaving of loved ones for years at a time. If God sends me I will go no matter the cost but my heart will break a thousand times over leaving my loved ones for such a length.
The next is a government official. paperwork pushing behind a desk. Quite clearly here the answer is no. not a shot. I would rather live in a cardboard box with pet Rats. (and I hate Rats)
What about this care Job? Maybe for another couple of months but as a commitment on the long term. No I am not happy as it is. The work comes home with you. I have had three phone calls tonight and its my day off regarding issues and paperwork.
Do I carry on studying? Doctor Rachel Storey doesnt quite sound right. plus Financial issues and to do what.
Do I go to bible college that I have always kind of wanted too. Again Finance and what then after that and to do what?
so the honest answer is I dont have a clue there is far to many options open to me. Ok, yeah the sensible option is to get some money behind me and then go and galivant. Even when I orginally chose my university options for UCAS (5 years ago now whoa) I had no idea and got so stressed with the pressure I just picked places that had a nice ring to there names not even really looking at where they were nor did I even look at the website. (Thanks to God for stopping me on that pathway) I hope to be a little bit more informed and sensible about the next life changing step of my life.
I am a little nervous as I proberly should have at least more of an idea than I currently do have.
A wise man once told me it doesn't matter what the future holds, I need to just remember who is holding it.
Im grasping on to those words with my finger nails at the minute during all this mass decision making process.
Please Pray that my eyes are open to God at this time.
Love to you all and i will keep you posted.
