Some people are scared of Spiders, some are snakes.
I get my intense dislike of Rats from my mother. generally this fear is amplified for comidic effect.
But Fear can change the most decent, intelligent human being into a complete fool. It can turn the most loving siblings into warring tribes.
Now if any of you know me well enough, you will note that proberly my biggest fear is being vulnerable. Some risks I am comfortable in taking (putting self out there for public humiliation) others not so much.
At Momentum this year there reached a point where I could either run or stand strong and face my demons.
I could say here that I waited until my friends knew infomation before I surrendered the situation to God.
That would be a lie.
It was because I was scared. I ran away.
I Finally surrended and let go on his third try.
I find myself moaning and complaining that my life is not all I want it to be. I find myself still not content, still searching and still facing the struggles I have had for the past 4 years. Maybe it is not because God is not suffient but perhaps I still havent surrendered all of myself to him.
God makes us Vunerable. He wants to get close to the real us. He gave us his all and sometimes he just asks that we stand that we take the lid off from our emotional jar and knock the walls down that restrains our hearts that scares us that makes us want to run away.
But I will tell you something its scary, it hurts, its messy but it is well worth it. It is worth it.
