All my life I have had to do lists. long ones. people to meet, things to do, books to read, films to watch.
no matter how much I would do the list grew. I would endevour like anything to acheive the list to even make a dent in it but it continued to grow. I spent so long scribbling on bits of paper (killing a lot of tree's) that I missed it.
I missed the point.
I have a lot of selfish desires, dreams and plans for my life that I gave to God at the beginning of my time at GBC (three years ago) and I am now dealing with my own thoughts of what if's and what would of happened now which god is dealing with. Most of my What If's are ridiculous and as much as some of the decision I made broke my heart (and many others) I would not want to change a single one.
Apart from this there is one thing in particular I have learnt from it all. Something I have missed. Missed throughout my intire life and my three years here. something I hadn't realised. I always knew it but never really realised.
Life is outside, adventure, fun, education is outside. outside the four walls that make up my bedroom.
I could learn loads about history. become an expert on Tony and Ridley Scott movies but never experience the adventures that make them.
We can read the bible how Daniel slayed Giants but never slay our own, we can read and learn about faith that could move the mountains but what good is it if we never step out and put our faith into action.
Jesus died so we could live he gave us free will.
he gave us the choice to sit inside our church buildings listening to sermon upon sermon and never taking action. he gave us the choice to sit around not bothering, he gave us the choice to let fear, self image and our selfishness control us.
He gave me the choice.
I choose him. no more lies, no more being held back by fear, no more stupid masks. no more Insecurity. (see following post)
I choose a new me through him.
