I am getting seriously bored about reading books on prostitutes and Foucault. Bring on Next June

What If...

I sometime wonder what if I hadn't become a christian?

What If I had gone to Roehampton insteed of taking a Gap Year?

What If me and Helen never made up from one of our countless arguements?

What If I had moved in with Penny and Aj?

What If I hadn't been in that car accident?

Im glad I did all these things and all these things happened. L

ife would be a lot more dull if they hadn't.

Stand up

I was surprised on Friday when someone stood up for me. It really took me by surprise.

Jesus stands up for me all the time.

I dont know why It came as such a shock and has been such a focus point in my mind. I have been thinking about it over and over again and replaying the scene in my head. It just seems such a foreign thing.

I can rememeber when Helen once stood up for me she had a baseball bat in her hands and she was threatening to phone the police. Abe stood up for me when I was accussed of stuff in the church that I had not done. It seems strange that it should be such a foreign thing. Having friends stand up for you. meh

Friends

After watching Helens Clip (love west wing) it made me think about friends and friendships.



I'm not the best one. I let Work and Uni prioritise my life. I let fear, insecurity and uncomfortableness creep into my friendships like a poision.



A very cool (legendary) 16 year old once told me that I see the bad in people, throw it away and hold on to the good.



They continued to talk about how much rubbish they put me through to see if I would still forget the bad and see the good for who they are.



I love this person and yeah he is a bit rusty round the edges at times but he is a generally awesome bloke.



It made me think more about my friendships with people how true friendships look past the rust.



I looked at friends where chandler kisses Joeys girlfriend and Joey (after chandler was made to live in a box for a day) seeing his friends sadness threw away his feelings because his friend mattered more.



I've been really annoyed at two people recently. (It isnt completely there fault in every friendship as its relational the blame is always at least partly on both sides.)



I heard God tell me today to let it go.



These people lied, broke promises, told secrets, said horrible things behind my back and Ignored me when I needed them.

These people (I love them) saw the rust and spat on it. They saw the act and judged. They didnt look beyond it nor care to look.

I realise by holding on to the grudge that I am doing the exact same thing.

I love these people and I am going to not let the wrongs they have done cloud my judgements at how good there hearts are.

Next Steps

It is not that I hate my Job. It is just really hard but today I was inspired.

I spend the majority of my time with two lads called Paul and Daniel both of which are around my age but both have severe mental problems.

The job is insanely stressful, both of them have no idea of how to behave in a 'normal' British social setting.

To give an example they are outwardly racist to people on public buses. I have had to deal with so many issues over the past few months.

But to these lads who have had every person in the world let them down, stolen from them, abused them. I have the greatest job in the world. I have an amazing opportunity to influence there lifes for the better. Me, Simon, Graham and Pam have the potential to help them, teach them and show them there worth.

Today Paul cooked and Daniel chose to eat an apple over crisps. These are there victories. Good on them!!!!

Look..

Look what God gave me the ability to do...

This is the school God built in Uganda. I built two classrooms in the right hand side on the ground with my team.

Im crying my eyes out. God is flipping amazing to let me have a part in his work over there. 600 kids now have a school. It is the most beautiful picture I have ever seen in my life. wow